If you don't know already, Kelsey ( @kelseyb ) and I lost our big brother a year ago 4/24/2023.

I never had the guts to tell our brother, Taylor, how much he inspired me. In the hectic childhood that I had, Taylor and Kelsey were huge positive impacts on me. They both got me into games and music that I otherwise wouldn't have had exposure to. I became really interested in music and video game music, sound, and special effects because of my siblings introducing me to a variety of music and game genres. I can't say I'm using those passions much, as I'm a manager at a restaurant currently, but those passions kept me going throughout terrible times in my life.

I credit a lot of my willingness to keep pushing forward to Taylor, as he helped me believe that there are things in life that can be enjoyed. There are reasons to exist. If he wasn't there to talk to me or couldn't call or text, the video games he'd left at the house for me were there. Some things Kelsey passed to me from Taylor, like blink-182's music.

I got to see blink-182 live this year. If you don't know, it's kind of a big deal since they had just announced a world tour and new music after the original members got back together. Taylor was so excited to go. I remember he sent me the tour announcement as soon as he saw it, and at the time I knew it was something cool but I brushed it off like "eh, they'll probably tour again and I'll get to see them some other time." I didn't buy tickets. I only got to go because I ended up with Taylor's tickets to the show after he had passed. It still hurts me that he didn't get to see the show, and that was last summer. I still don't feel worthy enough to have gotten his tickets.

All of this to say that I've learned a lot this past year. Anyone can say these two things: cherish every moment and tell your loved ones you love them.
I mean it. Cherish every moment. Tell your loved ones you love them. You just don't know how life is going to play out.

I'm 22 years old, I've been on my own for a while now, rent a place with my boyfriend, own two cars, have a good job, have a dog. Theoretically I have a great life at my age, but inside I'm torn up because I may have heard these lessons growing up, but it wasn't a reality until I lost someone worth a lot to me.

This past week me and my boyfriend Tanner ( @grimmgamer ) went on a camping trip for Taylor, since he loved camping. I made a vow that I'd do as much camping as I could and as much gaming as I could to get back into my passions instead of focusing on work so much. Loosen up and enjoy life more, not just for Taylor, but for me and my relationships with myself, my boyfriend, my dog, my family.

So, the first three pictures are from our trip. The last is my favorite picture of Taylor that has stayed on my Apple Watch for a year now. I'm so honored to have his headscarf that's in the pictures. I'm so honored to have him as a big brother.

I'll say this again: cherish every moment and tell your loved ones you love them.

Thank you for reading this far.