Pokémon Legends Arceus

So ya know the Safari Zone in the first Pokemon games? Where you couldn't battle any Pokemon, you just had to chuck rocks or food are balls at them? Remember how that was a great idea in concept, not so much in practice, and you gave up before you found that Chansey or Tauros because you wasted all your safari balls on Tangelas?

Or was that just me?

If you share that experience, Legends Arceus is that idea executed perfectly. I've never been one to try and fill up my PokeDex, and its importance has diminished as the years have gone on. There wasn't much motivation to do so until they introduced the Shiny Charm, and even then there were methods of shiny hunting that were just as reliable without it. While this reward is still within LA, the other rewards and methods of hunting Pokemon are wildly satisfying in and of themselves, and you only have to battle when absolutely necessary.

While I've expressed the lack of need for a Pokemon game to have a story if the setting and exploration can pick up the slack, LA's story is genuinely pretty fascinating despite it starting as "what if you were isekai'd into colonial hokkaido". The exploration lends itself to this... but on that note, this is where I did have to dock it down a little.

While reaching new spots in a given area is an engaging goal, the flat open planes and clear pathways ending in clusters of Pokemon do get rather same-y after a while of shiny hunting or item grinding. While I understand why the ability to craft items was implemented, by the end I found the material grind so frustrating that I simply farmed certain battles for cash to buy the pokeballs and sticky globs I needed for my Dex-filling or shiny hunts.

And then there's Arceus itself.

Other Pokemon games have some difficulty spikes. I thought people were exaggerating when they cursed the Pokemon deity for its difficulty. While you have learned the Pokemon partner-less dodge-heavy battle mechanics through the game with the few in each newly unlocked area, nothing prepares you for the onslaught this creature throws your way. I struggled through the first phase of the fight only for each and every one of my fully trained multiple IV'd, Level 100 'mons to bite it thanks to Arceus's garbage unfair type-shifting mechanic. I've seen skilled, veteran players struggle with this fight for ages, and beating it is apparently REQUIRED to ACTUALLY complete the game's Dex. You can't even transfer your own Arceus from the Sinnoh remakes. It, evidently, does not count unless you've let God set you and your pets on fire until he lets you catch him in a ball made of fruit.

If you love Pokemon, play Legends Arceus. If you want to shiny hunt in Legends Arceus, just do the reset trick. Getting the namesake itself is not worth it.

Final Fantasy XIV Online

Have you heard of the critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV? With an expanded free trial which you can play through the entirety of A Realm Reborn and the award-winning Heavensward expansion up to level--

Okay, that's more than a touch outdated what with the recent release of the Dawntrial expansion trailer, but there is a reason that this copypasta so wildly known and recited.

For some backstory, I grew up quite literally sat on my father's lap, watching him play other well-known MMORPGs such as Runescape, Everquest, and of course the ever-present World of Warcraft. If it says anything, once I was able to convince him to try XIV, he became just as hooked as I am. There is, genuinely, something for everyone in this game. As stated by a prominent MMO YouTuber, "nothing is mandatory and everything is encouraged", which I believe to be the best description of this game I've ever heard. You want raids and cool gear as rewards? There's a bunch of challenging options. You love dressing up your funky little guy? There's a whole system just for that! Farming?? You'll have to get through all the current story, but it's worth it to chill with your little worker robots and animals on an ACNH-esc deserted island. You deserve it, after all that world saving.

XIV is the MOST newbie-friendly MMO I've ever had the pleasure of playing. Plus, there's the bonus of the stellar, heart wrenching story (want to trigger an XIV player? Tell them 'a smile better suits a hero' and then watch them drown in their tears) as well as beloved characters that only serve to benefit it, despite them being so many in number. The side and job content also do wonders to building this world, with its blend of fantasy and hints of sci-fi the series is well known for. Many of the jobs aren't easy to master, but there is nothing more satisfying than watching an explosion of feathers and whirlwinds after executing the end of your DNC rotation.

And, as stated, there is a free trial now up to level 70 with no restrictions on playtime......

Pokémon Crystal

This game is arguably the most quintessential Pokemon game. Or at least, if you're talking about the Pokemon craze of the 90s and early 2000s. As stated by the creators themselves, the second generation of these wildly beloved JRPGs are the closest we have to Satoshi Tajiri's original concepts for the games.

There is not much to be said about this game's story, as the early Pokemon games were light on linear narrative as it is. This increases the game's ability to let the player create their own unique tale; the time you almost caught the wandering Legendary Beast, or how many times your team wiped to that dang Miltank. From shiny hunting to the daily tasks, calls, and connectivity with the N64 game Stadium 2, its no wonder that multiple older Pokemon fans have years-long playthroughs of this game.

Earthbound

If you ever wondered what it would be like to experience the early 1990s as a preteen through the lens of an eccentric Japanese businessman, this game is right up your alley! Either that or you want to experience the cult classic sensation that inspired internet sensations such as Undertale, Homestuck, and OFF.

(I'm not counting Lisa. Play Lisa, but only if you have a VERY strong resistance to disturbing topics).

There is minimal story, but this is genuinely to the game's benefit-- the atmosphere and vibe of the game is helped along by flavor dialogue and game mechanics rather than an especially deep tale. And not to spoil things, but following the classic JRPG formula within this setting works, I'd argue, better than the more common fantasy settings expected of the genre. Battling a demigod/personification of evil with the genuine power of friendship by the end makes sense for a troupe of children such as these.

The settings are colorful and wild, reminiscent of a child's drawings, and the gameplay being understandable even to those unfamiliar with genre conventions gives it that same feeling; of kids outside during summer playing pretend.

Also, ignore what that Mr. Saturn says. You just have to wait behind the waterfall for a few minutes and they'll let you in, *Josh.*